Tennessee Tuxedo Can and Does Fail!

September 16th, 2009 - Megapolis - Late last night, Tennesse Tuxedo (pictured here with friend Chumley) was apprehended by authorities while trying to escape from Megapolis Prison. He was working in the prison kitchen and was able to get into a bag of trash where he hid for several hours. He was then put into a garbage truck, but before it left prison grounds he was discovered by a corrections officer doing a routine check.

In 1998, Mr. Tuxedo was sentenced to 35 years in prison for burglary, grand larceny, fencing stolen goods, and mayhem. According to Zan of the Wonder Twins, Tennessee Tuxedo was the mastermind of an elaborate crime ring that was involved in the theft of priceless cartoon memorabilia of the stars. Zan turned state's evidence and was sentenced to 5 years probation. When the crime ring was busted, Tennessee and his associates were in possession of many rare pieces of cartoon history including: Bugs Bunny's Golden Carrot Lifetime Achievement Award, Superman's original cape, Homer Simpson's Mr. Plow jacket, a collection of Mickey Mouse's first animated cartoon cels, one of Captain Caveman's original clubs, and several hunting caps belonging to Elmer Fudd. Perhaps the most despicable thing the police found was the tusks of his ex-partner Chumley the Walrus. The two starred in the hit show Tennessee Tuxedo and His Tales from 1963 to 1966. This finding allowed the police to charge Mr. Tuxedo with mayhem and add several years to his sentence.

With this escape attempt, Tennessee will be getting some more prison time tacked onto his record. It looks like Mr. Tuxedo should have consulted with his old mentor Phineas J. Whooppee before trying this feeble escape.

Dr Gorgeous Weekly Cartoon News

Simpson, Griffin, and Gumble Arrested

September 5, 2009 -Springfield

A minor raucous broke out at Springfield community park on Friday evening. According to witnesses, three men staggered through the park around 6:30 PM demanding to know where the Night Ranger concert was. The men were later identified as Homer J Simpson and Barney Gumble (both from Springfield) and Peter Grifin of Quahog. The men appeared to be intoxicated. After being told the concert was in fact on the other side of town, the three men became verbally abusive to the other park goers.

As the men grew louder, a group of motorcyclists rolled over to see what the noise was about. The group was actually Chopper, Revs, Hi-Riser, and Scrambles, from Wheelie and the Chopper Bunch fame. Chopper and Revs approached Homer to determine what the problem was. Homer demanded that the Chopper Bunch sing Sister Christan. Chopper tried in vain to explain that they were not Night Ranger, but Simpson kept insisting they sing the song. Rev tried to talk to Griffin, but Griffin kept mumbling "...I'll show you Giant Chicken...!". Witnesses say Scrambles appeared annoyed that the other members of the Chopper Bunch got involved because he just kept repeating "i told'ja, i told'ja...".

Police arrived before any real violence broke out and Simpson, Griffin, and Gumble were all arrested for public intoxication. While the three were handcuffed and waiting for the paddy wagon to arrive, witnesses say Nelson Muntz rode by on his bike and exclaimed "HA HA!" It is then believed that Simpson muttered sadly to himself, "D'OH...". However, this could not be confirmed by any of the witnesses.

As of the time of this writing, the three remained in jail.

Dr Gorgeous weekly Cartoon News