Quagmire Causes Controversy

October 14th, 2009 - Quahog - Family Guy star, Glenn Quagmire, caused a bit of controversy yesterday while promoting his new book Men Are From Venus...Have You Seen my Penis? After his book signing at a Barnes and Noble store, a group of feminists barricaded the doors and refused to allow anyone in or out for almost an hour.
Quagmire plays the hyper-sexual neighbor of the Griffins on Family Guy. Apparently, those character traits have spilled over into his real life as well. The usually private Quagmire recently released his first book. The majority of which demeans women and portrays them only as sexual objects. Quagmire claims the book is only hyperbole and is just an extension of his famous character. Feminists groups claim he is simply bragging about his exploits and passing on his lack of respect for women everywhere. The women who were present at yesterday's protest were passing out an excerpt from the book to passers by that was labeled "Quagmire's Trash". The excerpt read:

...I could tell from the way she tossed her blond hair that she would put up no fight. I strolled across the bar room with a cigarette at the ready. As I approached I said, "Here baby put this in your mouth...oh and here's a cigarette. Giggity". She just laughed and dangled her high heel by one toe. As I leaned in to give her a light, the top of her dress hung open and I stared at her torpedoes..."giggity goo!"...

As the pamphlets were being handed out, the women protesters encouraged those listening to boycott Barnes and Noble until they removed Quagmire's new book. The protest was fairly civil until the women began barricading the doors. The police were summoned by the store's manager and several of the protesters were arrested. When asked what he thought of the incident, Quagmire said "Lonely, hot chics in jail...ALL-RIGHT!".

Dr Gorgeous Weekly Cartoon News

"Simpsons" Star Caught Drunk Behind the Wheel

September 19th, 2009 - Springfield Early this morning, Springfield Police arrested Lenny Leonard for driving while intoxicated. Police said his BMW was drifting over the center line for several blocks and he was pulled over. As they approached the vehicle, the smell of alcohol was overwhelming. Leonard was slurring his words and fumbled his wallet searching for his drivers license. The police then asked him to step out of the vehicle. As he was exiting the car, his foot got tangled in the seat belt and Mr. Leonard fell to the street. At this point, police also asked for Mr. Leonards passenger to exit the vehicle.

Paparazzi at the scene photographed Lois Griffin coming out of the front passenger seat with very little clothing on (see photo). Police say she too seemed very intoxicated and could hardly stand. Witnesses say that Mrs. Griffin kept crying out, "Please don't tell Peter!" Referring to her Family Guy costar Peter Griffin (no relation). The two did date during the initial run of the show, but have not been romantically linked in several years. Mr. Leonard is engaged to Daria Morgendorffer. At least they were engaged until this episode transpired.

Lenny Leonard was given a field sobriety test, which he failed miserably. A breathalyzer was then given and Mr. Leonard was found to be 3x the legal limit. He was arrested and his car was impounded. Lois Griffin was given a ride to the police station where she could call for a ride home. Paparazzi indicated that a visibly disgusted Freddie Jones came to the police station to get Lois Griffin. The two have been long time pals having both attended Van Nuys High Scool.

Witnesses also said that while Mr. Leonard was being unloaded from the police car, he was belligerent and began shouting racial epithets at the arresting officers.

This story will be updated after Mr. Leonard is officially charged.

Dr Gorgeous Weekly Cartoon News

Meg Griffin and Frylock Getting Cozy

September 13th, 2009 - Quahog The latest development in celebrity dating seems to be Meg Griffin and Frylock. Both of these celebrities are at the top of their fame game and have been linked as an item by several members of the media. The pair decided to make it official last week when they attended the Writers Guild Awards in Hollywoodland.
Meg, of course, is on the hit FOX show Family Guy and Frylock is one of the stars of Cartoon Networks Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Neither is a stranger to the celebrity dating scene. Unlike her character, who plays an unpopular teenager on Family Guy, Meg has been linked to several celebrity hunks including: Kevin Ethan Levin (Ben 10: Alien Force), Carl Carlson (The Simpsons), and Bamm-Bamm Rubble (Flintstones). When asked about these previous relationships Meg told us, "Oh my god! These were all fun but not serious. I am just having fun right now."

Frylock has also had a few celebrity relationships. He dated Jem on and off for about 5 years and was also involved with Strawberry Shortcake. Neither Meg nor Frylock would make a comment on their new relationship. Spokespersons for each, simply said they were close friends who were spending time together.

One of Frylock's closet friends, Early Cuyler of The Squibillies, had this to say: "That ol' boy ain't never gonna settle down. He just grabbin' the nearest, freshest cupcake off 'da shelf and when she get ta be day old, he get'em another un." With those sentimental words of encouragement, I don't see how these two can miss.

Dr Gorgeous Weekly Cartoon News