Meg Griffin and Frylock Getting Cozy

September 13th, 2009 - Quahog The latest development in celebrity dating seems to be Meg Griffin and Frylock. Both of these celebrities are at the top of their fame game and have been linked as an item by several members of the media. The pair decided to make it official last week when they attended the Writers Guild Awards in Hollywoodland.
Meg, of course, is on the hit FOX show Family Guy and Frylock is one of the stars of Cartoon Networks Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Neither is a stranger to the celebrity dating scene. Unlike her character, who plays an unpopular teenager on Family Guy, Meg has been linked to several celebrity hunks including: Kevin Ethan Levin (Ben 10: Alien Force), Carl Carlson (The Simpsons), and Bamm-Bamm Rubble (Flintstones). When asked about these previous relationships Meg told us, "Oh my god! These were all fun but not serious. I am just having fun right now."

Frylock has also had a few celebrity relationships. He dated Jem on and off for about 5 years and was also involved with Strawberry Shortcake. Neither Meg nor Frylock would make a comment on their new relationship. Spokespersons for each, simply said they were close friends who were spending time together.

One of Frylock's closet friends, Early Cuyler of The Squibillies, had this to say: "That ol' boy ain't never gonna settle down. He just grabbin' the nearest, freshest cupcake off 'da shelf and when she get ta be day old, he get'em another un." With those sentimental words of encouragement, I don't see how these two can miss.

Dr Gorgeous Weekly Cartoon News

Rocky and Bullwinkle Reunion Movie Grounded

September 11th, 2009 - Frostbite Falls, MN

The eagerly anticipated Rocky and Bullwinkle Stage Follies has hit a road block. Rocket "Rocky" J. Squirrel and Bullwinkle J. Moose reunited about 6 months ago and assembled most of the original cast into a stage revue of their old show.

According to those working on the stage production, rehearsals had been going really well and everyone in the cast was getting along. In fact, everything was going so well that the opening date was moved up several weeks. The show was going to premiere in Frostbite Falls, MN, where the comedy duo was formed, on September 19th. That date has been postponed for the moment. However, paparazzi caught Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale catching a red eye flight back to Russia early Friday morning. This may foreshadow a longer postponement. At least, longer than the producers of the show are giving now.

The trouble started last week during the rehearsal of a Dudley Do-Right segment. The rehearsal was going well when trouble erupted off-stage. Apparently an argument started between Rocky and Bullwinkle and progressed rather quickly. The two had too be broken up by Mr. Peadbody and Sherman.

Witnesses overheard Rocky making comments about how well Nell Fenwick looked. Bullwinkle, who once dated Nell and had jealousy issues over her, did not like the comment. The two had some words before they began pushing each other. They were broken up before any punches were thrown. After being separated, Bullwinkle yelled at Rocky, "Hey Rocky, watch me punch you're f***ing teeth down the back of your throat." Rocky replied, "Somebody get that psycho out of here and calm him the F**k down."

Bullwinkle then announced that he didn't need this and walked out. Nell, who had been informed of what transpired, ran out after him.

Rocky then exclaimed, "Well, now at least I can say with a straight face to the audience...and now here's something I think you'll really like!" His attempt at levity was not received well by the other cast members and Rocky later apologized. However, the damage was apparently done and as of this report, Bullwinkle was not back on stage.

Dr Gorgeous Weekly Cartoon News

Dumb Donald Proves Not So Dumb Afterall

September 10th, 2009 - Gotham City-     A celebrity chess tournament was held over the Labor Day weekend at the Gotham City Chess Club.  Proceeds going to the victims of last years tragic Gotham City Apartments attack carried out by the Legion of Doom.  The attack left 1100 people homeless.  The tournament brought out current celebrities as well as those from the past.  Some of today's current celebrities included Mr. Garrison from South Park, Spongebob Squarepants, Captain Knuckles, Brian Griffin, Ned Flanders, and Hank Hill.  

One of the more surprising entries into the tournament was Dumb Donald from the Fat Albert Show.  He has been out of the public eye for some time, but the charitable cause of the tournament was close to his heart.  His mother was one of the people left homeless in the attacks.  Donald's tournament run started off fairly easy for him.  He defeated Aquaman, Apache Chief, Droopy, and Huckleberry Hound in very fast time.  He then came upon a tournament favorite, Velma Dinkley.  Their match lasted nearly two hours before Donald was finally able to put Velma's queen in checkmate.

The final match pitted Donald against the tournament favorite, Papa Smurf.  During the middlegame, Donald played a brilliant zwischenzug which put Papa Smurf at a huge disadvantage that he was not able to overcome.  Dumb Donald won the match in just over 40 minutes.  Donald dedicated the match to his mother and the other victims of the attack.  Donald also thanked Mush Mouth for teaching how to play chess while they were on the set of the Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids show.

Dr Gorgeous Weekly Cartoon News

Yosemite Sam "Raises Hare" on PETA's Neck

September 8th, 2009    Yosemite Sam has raised the attention of PETA recently.  According to a PETA spokesperson, over the past 5 years, Sam has been breeding and raising animals for the sole purpose of organized hunting.  Yosemite Sam owns approximately 100 acres in Carlsbad, CA.  Here he has set up breeding barns for rabbits, deer, elk, bears, and turkeys...to name a few.  Outside of these barns are large 20 acre enclosures that he releases the animals into.  Once in there, the animals are hunted by paying hunters, who want to hunt with the legendary guns man.  The animals have no chance of escape and are rumored to sometimes be tortured by Sam and the hunters.  These accusations came as no surprise to acquaintances of Yosemite Sam.  One of his oldest friends, Foghorn Leghorn, said this when asked to comment on the rumors.  "I say, Sammy is a decent man...decent I say.  But meaner than a corn snake in hot coals...pay attention boy I'm tellin' ya somethin' here.  He didn't like the way that rabbit done him in the pictures and he's held onto that grudge...I say he's held onto it real tight!"

Mr. Leghorn was, of course, referring to the beloved short films starring Yosemite Sam and Bugs Bunny.  The two had quite a fictional feud going and were making big money films together.  However, Sam thought that his star was as bright as Bugs Bunny's.  Hanna Barbera did not agree and when Sam asked for equal billing and equal pay his contract was not renewed.  Adding insult to injury, the last contractual films Sam did made him look more backward and inept than previous films.  Insiders say this was done on purpose by the writers, but Sam believed Bugs Bunny was behind it.  Either way, Sam's star fell while Bugs Bunny soared on to unimaginable fame. 

Yosemite Sam retired from film and moved to Carlsbad, CA in the early 80's and has been running the Yosemite Sam's Rootin'ist Tootin'ist Hunting Camp West of the Pecos for the past 15years.  Only in the last 6 months have allegations surfaced about the inhumane treatment of the animals.  As more details surface, it will be clear if PETA is picking on Yosemite Sam because of his celebrity or does he have a deep seeded hatred of all animals going back to his days with Bugs Bunny.  After several failed attempts to reach Sam for a comment, he was finally willing to release a brief statement.  "I hates rabbits.  They is nothing but long eared galoots and carrot eatin' idgets, but I ain't never tortured no varmits..." 

Dr Gorgeous Weekly Cartoon News 

Weekly Cartoon News Bites

Wile E. Coyote has finally settled his $5 million dollar lawsuit with the ACME company for gross product negligence. Coyote released the following statement to the media after the ruling was made.

"I'm happy with the courts ruling. It won't compensate me for all of the injuries I have sustained throughout the years, but it will help. I hope others, who have been harmed by large companies, will have the courage to come forward and make a stand."

When asked why a self proclaimed super genius continued buying the ACME products, even after near death mishaps, the Coyote annoyingly quipped "No comment!"

Former child star Scrappy Cornelius Paul Campbell Doo re-entered a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center in Santa Monica on September 4th. Sources close to the Doo family say that Scrappy relapsed early this year after his mother Ruby Doo passed away and that he was out of control. Sources also say that an intervention was held at Freddie Jones' house and that all of Scrappy Doo's friends and family were there to encourage him to get help. This is Scrappy's third time in rehab, but the only time that it was not court ordered. Paparazzi snapped photos of Scooby Doo, Scooby Dum, and Norville "Shaggy" Rogers coming out of the rehab center after a Sunday family visitation.

With the support of his Neptunes band mates (Biff, Shelly, Bubbles, and Clamhead), Jabberjaw has come clean about his music career. "The drum tracks on The Neptunes albums were not mine. They were done by a studio drummer and I merely pretended to be playing."

The Neptunes released 3 albums during their short lived television career. While the show was more about light hearted case solving, the music did add an enticing element to the show. Jabberjaw was already set to play the lead, when the idea of making the characters part of a band was added by the shows executive producer. Even though Jabberjaw was willing to learn to play the drums for the show, the absence of fingers and opposable thumbs made it impossible. For the shows music montages, the drumsticks were heavily taped to Jabberjaw's fins and he would mimic the drummer's movements.

The Jabberjaw incident was not a secret to the television industry. However, he was given credit for playing the drums in the bands music catalog and was paid the royalties. Jabberjaw was told to not speak out about the secret and that the real drummer was being compensated. Years later, Jabberjaw found out that was not the case and has had real remorse about the secret. That is why he decided to go public with an apology and give the real drummer, Neil Peart, his long deserved credit.

Dr Gorgeous Weekly Cartoon News

Simpson, Griffin, and Gumble Arrested

September 5, 2009 -Springfield

A minor raucous broke out at Springfield community park on Friday evening. According to witnesses, three men staggered through the park around 6:30 PM demanding to know where the Night Ranger concert was. The men were later identified as Homer J Simpson and Barney Gumble (both from Springfield) and Peter Grifin of Quahog. The men appeared to be intoxicated. After being told the concert was in fact on the other side of town, the three men became verbally abusive to the other park goers.

As the men grew louder, a group of motorcyclists rolled over to see what the noise was about. The group was actually Chopper, Revs, Hi-Riser, and Scrambles, from Wheelie and the Chopper Bunch fame. Chopper and Revs approached Homer to determine what the problem was. Homer demanded that the Chopper Bunch sing Sister Christan. Chopper tried in vain to explain that they were not Night Ranger, but Simpson kept insisting they sing the song. Rev tried to talk to Griffin, but Griffin kept mumbling "...I'll show you Giant Chicken...!". Witnesses say Scrambles appeared annoyed that the other members of the Chopper Bunch got involved because he just kept repeating "i told'ja, i told'ja...".

Police arrived before any real violence broke out and Simpson, Griffin, and Gumble were all arrested for public intoxication. While the three were handcuffed and waiting for the paddy wagon to arrive, witnesses say Nelson Muntz rode by on his bike and exclaimed "HA HA!" It is then believed that Simpson muttered sadly to himself, "D'OH...". However, this could not be confirmed by any of the witnesses.

As of the time of this writing, the three remained in jail.

Dr Gorgeous weekly Cartoon News

Hong Kong Phooey Retires

September 4, 2009 - Hollywoodland

After serving 35 years as the "real life" janitor of Hoolywoodland's sheriff's station, Penrod "Penry" Pooch will officially retire. Pooch had a brief run in 1974-75 as the unremarkable, would-be super hero Hong Kong Phooey. After the Kung Fu phase left the American scene, Hong Kong Phooey (along with Carl Douglas) was cast aside. When asked if he was bitter about his short lived fame, Penry replied "Man, are you kiddin'? Do you know how much *** I got from that gig?"

Penry Pooch is going to live a life of leisure and occassionly do autograph shows with other fellow small timers such as: Babu, Dirk Dastardly, Muttley, and the Snorks. According to the autograph show organizer, The Green Arrow, there is still quite a fan base for these short lived characters from the 70's. He hopes to add a few more names to the stable before announcing show dates, but says "...with Hong Kong Phooey on board, it's a sure thing..."

Dr Gorgeous Weekly Cartoon News