Obituaries

Kenny McCormick, 10, South Park, Colorado

Kenny McCormick died yesterday afternoon after entering a room full of starving rats. The rats were being starved by Kenny's close friend Eric Cartman. Apparently, Eric was going to release the rats in his mom's bedroom one night after she refused to buy anymore Cheesy-Poofs. Unfortunately, Kenny became the victim of Eric's vengance.

Those closest to Kenny said his friends Kyle Broflovski and Stan Marsh were deeply saddend by his passing. In fact, when told about his death they exclaimed "Oh my god, Eric killed Kenny! You bastard!"

Kenny is survived by his parents Stuart and Carol, as well as, an older brother Kevin. Due to the McCormick family being extremely poor, a ceremony will not be held in Kenny's honor.